Stormcrow versus Rostock Rose

Is Harper crazy?

2009-09-11T07:35:00.002-07:00

I don't get it. Our acting prime minister certainly appears to be crazy. He's practically foaming at the mouth about the opposition parties forming a "coalition".

1. Stephen Harper is running a coalition government - a joint effort by the Reform party and the Progressive Conservative party. These were two distict parties with differing platforms that found a way to work together to improve their collective influence.
2. When in the opposition, Stephen Harper actively sought out the support of other parties to help him defeat the then Liberal minority government and create a "coalition" to rule in its place. He didn't have any problem working with socialists and separatists then, why should anyone else have a problem working with them now?
3. Iggy isn't forming a coalition, he's forming a consensus. That's how minority governments are supposed to work. The leader finds common ground among disparate points of view to create a governing framework that best suits the majority of Canadians, even if no one party represents that majority view.

When the election rolls around, we seriously need to ask ourselves this: Who do we want as prime minister? Do we want a statesman and scholar who understands complex issues, develops consensus among conflicting views, and finds ways for all the parties to work together, or do we want someone who bullies literally anyone who disagrees with him (from within his own party or from outside it) and uses every concievable opportunity to increase his own influence and power (even grandstanding at international press conferences for pity's sake)?

This will not be an election about issues. It will be an election about personalities. Your decision will be a lot easier if every time you hear the word "coalition" come out of Harper's mouth, you pretend he said "consensus". It's certainly what everyone else should be saying.

If you are an emerging artist...

2009-06-18T10:34:00.002-07:00

You need to read this.

And if you still want to be an emerging artist you need to do some serious thinking. While I don't have the benefit of a large inheritance or wealthy spouse, I've been able to make some progress pursuing playwriting in an evenings-and-weekends way.

There comes a point where you have to accept that this will always be the way it is. Even if I get the odd play produced, at the rate that I can create work I can't seriously anticipate ever earning enough writing (even as a full time writer) to compete with the escalating costs of living that come with owning property and having a family. So regardless of success I will always be an evenings-and-weekends artist.

To be honest, that's sometimes hard to live with because you wonder what you "could have" achieved without having to spend so much of your time in meetings or staring at spreadsheets. Of course it also protects you from the possibility that you were always destined to be a charming amateur who would never have made it to the next level.

Aspirations, anyone?

1000 Times

2009-05-15T13:37:00.001-07:00

I'm under the impression this is a healthy score. Challengers?

Breeding Ignorance

2009-05-07T08:40:00.002-07:00

In light of the latest news, I can't wait to have a child. I look forward to informing the school board that I have no interest in my children being educated on Belgium. Our family has always held that Belgium is a conspiracy perpetrated by the Swiss to draw attention away from their chocolate monopoly.

Hey, in Alberta, I have the right to raise my children in whatever sheltered, ignorant way I want. They don't have to be exposed to multiple points of view on a subject, and I certainly don't want to waste my time explaining to them that just because the teacher tells them that many people believe in the concept of Belgium, that doesn't mean that Belgium really exists - I mean, its difficult to convince them that our beliefs supercede the basic laws of geography.

And I certainly don't think "Belgian" is an appropriate lifestyle choice for my children to even hear being mentioned, just in case they decide that they too want to explore the possibility of being from a minor European state. What next, will they start to experiment with Luxembourging?

Another victory for Ed Dullmach and the Con-slave-atives.

Another reno project checked off the list.

2009-04-28T17:22:00.003-07:00

I made this!

Well... I made it with my Dad. Which is still pretty awesome because it's not like he's a carpenter either. He just happens to have a bit more experience with do-it-yourselfing. And he had the sawhorses.

Specifically, I'm talking about that shoe shelf nooked ever so casually into our front entryway. To understand how epic this project was, you need to understand that the two flanking walls are not straight. Each shelf is a custom shaped rhombus that fits the space between the two walls at one specific height.

Since this was my Dad and I this involved two trips to the hardware store, the death of one measuring tape, and approximately 35% more wood than a professional might need (anybody want a black, oddly shaped rhombus or two?) but it instantly transformed the cleanliness of our entry way and is still satisfying to look at more than a week later. Fully satisfying - and a goal on my 101 list.

Why there (probably) shouldn't be a Stormcrow Productions theatre company

2009-04-15T11:42:00.004-07:00

Okay - lets go blog hopping for a sec.

This discussion starts here. Adam (I think rightly) takes a hard look at what the point of an artist driven theatre company is headed towards.

A highlight:

"Together you will form a company. You'll put together a mission statement. It will include words like "enlighten, challenge and inspire." The mission statement is a lie. The real mission statement of the company is:
To showcase us.
This is your fatal flaw. It will be the thing that causes much pain later if you don't realize this."

Then there is a rebuttal from Flux Theatre here.

To quote the rebuttal:

"But what really rubbed me the wrong way is the scorn he has for the idea that the 'real' mission statement of an artist-run organization is to showcase the artists involved (his word, definitely not mine). He describes this as the fatal flaw of a failed artist run organization."

"That's where the most insidious ideas of the post live. Court Theatre produces plays and so does Flux. The work of artists is 'showcased' in both examples. So why is it all right for an institution to produce the work of artists, but not artists to produce the work themselves?"

and finally...

"The mission of any real work of art is nothing more or less than the experience of it. If that experience could be put into a statement, you could just read the statement, and skip the play."

I think that Augusts rebuttal misses the key point of the initial criticism.

The artist driven theatre company is formed, Adam points out, because a group of like-minded artists get together to create a show. Things work out well enough that they do it again and soon enough there is a "company".

It is not that this "company" doesn't have intentions for how their art will engage and affect their audience/community but they exist rather nebulously, held together by their shared intentions, styles, ways of doing theatre, etc.

What is important, however, is that unlike an art-making institution style company, these artist-driven companies are steered by individual artists. These artists are frequently involved in the company in a as-long-as-it-suits-my-interests sort of way (not in the financial or even "learning experience" sense of interest, necessarily, but at least in the until-I'm-not-interested-in-making-this-kind-of-theatre sort of way). That is, the artists expect this "company" to continue to do what they want until they are done with it. An art-making institution by contrast retains artists until it is done with them.

So, when an artist driven company is forced to choose between, say producing a risky-but-important work and a more popularly known one (which will likely sell more tickets) the purpose of its existance (to make "our" kind of work) can trump financial considerations. This is a good thing, in its way, but Adam's point is that once an artist-driven "company" recruits a board and becomes an entity in its own right, it has to, at some point, be responsible for its own health, even when that stands at odds with what the artists who started it in the first place want to do.

At this point we might well say, so what? If artists want to drive the bus, and put their company in a more risky position then so be it. But the catch 22 quickly appears - these very artist-driven companies want to do more than eek out shoestring budget pieces in their spare time. And since they don't attract enough audience bucks to pay for more (better sets, salaries for actors, etc.) they look to government for money to supplement their budget. And the government peskily insists that money be handed out to an agency with a board that will control the finances to ensure the ongoing viability of the company. And this artist-driven agency is forced to quantify its mission and purpose in an ongoing way, and that's when all those mushy feely words about community engagement and educational opportunities and what not get written down. Because nobody could get government money for "We want to make our theatre, our way, please pay us and hope we don't have a falling out."

And I think at core the issue is that these artist-driven companies are most often birthed with no intention to create an independent institution that will last long past all of its founding members. This can happen naturally over time, but more often than not they either die out as people move on (c.f. the last theatre company I was a part of) or at some point get a board and then bemoan when that board hijacks or hamstrings the company in the interest of sustainability.

"But its not fair," complains an artist in an artist-driven company. "We are important in lots of ways and deserve funding without having to worry about doing popular shows."

I think these artist-driven organizations do deserve funding. I think they provide lots of run-off benefits to society that cannot be captured in ticket revenue. But I think they should stop pretending to be something they are not. They should be able to say, "me and my buddies want to do this particular show, in this way, and it's going to cost X (including real salaries for actors, directors, technicians, etc.), and our tickets will get us back Y. Please give us X-Y dollars, government body."

"But what if this specific play offends some people? The government won't want to fund it."

Okay. So there should be some kind of arms-length agency in charge of doling out funds to non-institutional artist clusters, that could provide the funding decisions well enough in advance to allow theatres to get booked etc., that would be on a totally different government ledger from the usual support for the arts institutions in town.

As a playwright, I'm reading the trends of institutional theatres and seeing that the opportunities for me to flourish there are limited - very limited if I'm not first a brand they can latch on to. So should I start my own tiny semi-professional theatre company (as a couple of my peers have recently, and very bravely, done)? If so, I'll have to pretend that I'm creating an agency that could well survive without me as Artistic/Executive Director. Otherwise I can't imagine getting enough money together to produce a few shows, develop a name, and get to the point where someone else would want to pay for my words.

I'll admit I'm in a surly place right now, but I think the thrust of Adam's argument is very telling - that the motivation for creating a theatre company is frequently at odds with the current mechanisms to finance it.

Doomsday has come for American Theatre!!!

2009-04-09T17:48:00.003-07:00

Or so the discussion is going.

It's a discussion that started with some interesting discussion of the Walmartization of American theatre thanks to the dominance of the Broadway system. Basically, if you are an actor anywhere in america and you want to make it, you have to leave the place you grew up in and go to New York and try to be in small shows so that producers will notice you and put you in Broadway shows, after which point you can get acting gigs all over the country because regional theatre companies across the states tend to bring most of their actors in from New York, because there aren't many well developed local actors because anyone local who wants to make it has to leave to go to... well you get it.

I've been thinking about the Calgary theatre scene. From the actor's point of view things are a lot better than that. If I go to a proffessional theatre company show in Calgary now, odds are I'll recognize at least half the cast. Okay, that's partly a function of me going to a lot of theatre, but it does tell you that those people are Calgarians who act professionally rather than imports from Toronto or New York. The same cannot be said on the playwriting side (which I guess is part of why this post is turning into a rant). I think you'll find that both the biggest and the hottest professional theatre companies in calgary are the ones doing big Canadian names (mostly from T.O.) or shows that were big a couple years ago on Broadway. Next year we'll see Drowsy Chaperone roll through at ATP or Ground Zero or whathaveyou and it will be touted as a hot Canadian success (successful because it went to Brodway? maybe) Meanwhile the state of affairs for the emerging playwright is largely one of starting out with a blend of readings (sponsored in part by companies who want to maintain their development cred without, you know, producing new work) and smaller, you-probably-haven't-heard-of-them semi-pros. I'm not going to say that isn't an important training ground for new playwrights - its a critical part of the learning process. But if a calgary playwright makes it through that process, it is currently only in order to get smaller and gradually larger theatres in Vancouver or Toronto to produce your work so that someday you'll be a name in those other places so that your home town might produce you. It doesn't seem like my mentors are getting produced in Calgary either. I know that they are writing too, but they've practically vanished off the main stages here because they haven't gone off to the hotter places to write "hits". So what hope do I have of getting onto a home town mainstage? Would it be too communist of me to suggest that any theatre company getting money from the province should be required to use a minimum percentage of albertans in their season - in each component considered separately - so a minimum percent of techies, actors, directors, playwrights, etc. Not that it needs to be all by any stretch.

Last week I had the idea that I should apply for a grant from somewhere and study in a number of Canadian cities what percentage of the productions were local, provincial, or Canadian by script, actor, all staff, and where their money came from (private, grant, ticket sales) per show weighted by attendance (or something) but then I realized that while I could probably get such a random grant, I would then actually have to do the work - which would be work - and I'd almost rather not know the answer.

There is one light of optimism in the Calgary theatre scene - seems like we've got a suprisingly healthy little political theatre scene blossoming. That's almost necessarily local, but it's not really my scene so it's not much help to me as a writer.

Maybe I should stop reading so many vancouver, toronto, london and new york theatre blogs. It's like - if things are so bad there, are we about to get steamrolled by the fallout? If I could, through another decade of work, emerge in a place where a Calgary mainstage would even consider producing my work - will there be any theatres left to do so?

Me (and my bald spot) used to actually make theatre:

Now we watch it.

In case you were counting

2009-03-31T19:23:00.002-07:00

I've just missed a lot of consecutive weeks (3) in my goal to blog weekly for the duration of my 101 in 1001 challenge thing. For the record, I'm currently sitting at 7.0% complete in 8.3% elapsed time.

Since I'm not a time traveller, I won't be able to go back and make up those blog entries, or update my facebook either, or, frankly, edit the goal list to fix several problems with it. Since I'm not a time traveller, I also won't run into anyone who is in love with me even though I've never met them. So you take the good with the bad.

One more day until I can put a terrible March behind me.

"I Told You So" doesn't seem strong enough.

2009-03-04T15:13:00.002-07:00

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/manitoba/story/2009/03/04/mb-light-bulbs.html

as related to this

I guess it could have been on 45.

2009-03-03T18:04:00.002-07:00

I like this.

Saw the video, bought the CD on Amazon. Can't decide if that's new school or old school.

A 101 Update

2009-02-24T17:26:00.002-07:00

According to my spreadsheet, I am 4.87% complete my 101 goals in 4.80% of the elapsed time. Given that I've already botched my facebook goal, and really don't feel that bad about it, I'm never going to make 100% exactly, but still feels like I'm at least sort of on track. And a lot of my goals are summer based, so we'll see.

Round 1

2009-02-17T18:11:00.003-07:00

This weekend past Amanda and I tackled our first "home improvement" project. By weekend's end I had been to Home Despot three times. I had used both of my drills, two wrenches, six screwdrivers, two tape measures, a laser level, and a stud finder. I had once again discovered what a questionable carpenter I am. And yet I think it turned out okay.

I guess I should have taken a "before" shot. That hutch was white, not centered on the wall, and had some hideous old knobs. It was not made with love.

A Weekend in the Theatre

2009-02-09T19:56:00.002-07:00

This weekend past I had a little theatre blitz of my own (as I can't afford the real "theatre blitz" and I'm not important enough to get comped, and all my hookups have left the industry). Friday evening I went down to Inglewood to catch a spirited production of Richard II. I had been debating all day between a couple shows, I picked Richard II because, seriously, how often does one of the "lesser" Shakespeares get produced in Cow-Town? It had that kind of old-school community production feel - actors in a wide range of talent levels, a kind of surreal mess of classical and modern costumes and references, and a huge cast. It also had video clips that were suprisingly well executed given the obvious shoe-string budget, and overall I was fairly satisfied with the show - I pretty much always understood what they were saying and what was going on and I didn't go in with any idea of the plot.

The next afternoon Lady Rose and I went to the pay-what-you-can matinee of "Doubt" at Theatre Calgary. We blundered into some awesome seats and counted ourselves lucky. The show-thats-just-been-made-into-a-movie thing led to a lot of buzz about this show, but I have to admit I didn't think that much of it. Don't get me wrong, I thought the cast did a great job, and the set was pretty amazing, but for all the hype I thought the script was a little weak. Not, perhaps, the best pick for TC's first one-act in a long time. It felt like it should have been the first act of a two act play, where the real meat, digging down to the truth of the characters, and facing the real depth of the issue got done in the second act. As it was, everyone got off a little easy as far as I was concerned, with pretty minor consequences. Not that you go to TC for heavy psychological drama in general, but when you decide to take the plunge and face the dark secrets of the catholic priesthood you better damn well deliver. Nuff said.

That evening, we went back to our roots. A brand new community theatre company doing their first show in the Pumphouse. David Ives. Still weirds me out a little since Hidden Insanity's first show was at the Pumphouse and featured a script by David Ives - one of the plays from the set presented this evening. Perhaps its just the distance of a few years, but I really noticed how painfully shallow Ives is in this production. The actors did a good job with what they had - nice timing, clear characterizations, good energy and tight physicality. But its all just hyperintellectual sketch comedy and at that point I'd rather see original work than reruns of the now somewhat dated Ives material. Still it brought me back to a happy time in my life. In the last scene one characters prop cokebottle glasses broke on a particularly resounding death-of-trotsky and the audience couldn't help but laugh along as the cast valiantly tried to hold it together to finish the scene. These little disasters, it seems to me, are as vital as any success in making that show memorable for the company and driving them back to the theatre for years to come. If you doubt it, ask me about the "fringe flu" sometime.

Daisy Owl

2009-02-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

I think I've been there.

The Big Heist

2009-02-02T12:33:00.003-07:00

On Sunday I witnessed a crime. Sort of.

We had just walked out of the Best Buy, still on the sidewalk outside, when the door alarm buzzed and a skinny white dude blazed past us with two PS3s under his arms, the boxes still clad in those wired-to-the-outside-of-the-box security tag things. He dove into a shitty looking car which then streaked away into the parking lot while him and his companions in the car hooted victoriously. We looked back at the Best Buy but there was no response.

So this is the state of criminal mastermindery these days, wait until the door is open, then grab what you want and run. I wonder if they even bothered to scout the store ahead of time? When I worked at a chapters I did keep an eye out for suspicious individuals but we had security in the store so I didn't really worry about it much. I certainly wouldn't have chased a thief out into the parking lot. And I guess neither did the Best Buy door person, who had wished us a good day just moments earlier when we walked through those same doors. What is the function of that dude if its not security? Did that make my Best Buy experience any less latex glove?

I was further disgusted by the thought that since loser boy was stealing two PS3s, it wasn't even a case of stealing it in order to play with it, at least one if not both units would likely be on Craigslist by the end of the day. Forget planning your heist, you don't even need a fence anymore.

But then what really brought me low was to realize that I was the one who was in a position to see what happened, but it didn't even occur to me to look at their liscence plate before they were gone. I was busy looking at the Best Buy to see what their response would be. So I'm just another warm body in the herd of slack-jawed do-nothings that feed these parasites with our inaction. And you just know if the Best Buy had tighter security I would grumble about the inconvenience. I want big wide automatic doors so I can stroll in without being delayed, and the Best Buy is so dependent on my good will that they have to tolerate the odd grab and dash just to keep me pacified. And they just roll the cost of those losses onto the sticker prices and so really it costs them nothing as long as us cattle keep buying their "best".

In the nicest possible way of course

2009-01-14T20:14:00.002-07:00

So I got home yesterday to find a rejection message on my answering machine from a pretty major theatre company. It's kind of like getting slapped, but you're slapped by Angelina Jolie, and she's wearing a velvet glove, and nothing else.

I mean, I'm trying to stay positive and see the bright side where its an honour that they went out of their way to call me, but underneath it's still hard. Despite a mission (which has lasted more than a decade) to get better at dealing with rejection, it still eats at me. Steals my enthusiasm for other projects - which makes me even more grumpy, if that's possible. And all the successes in the world don't seem to take the edge off.

So no, I didn't go to the hardware store tonight - I went home and sulked.

It begins - 101@0.4%

2009-01-10T16:32:00.003-07:00

Okay. Today I starting working on a rough plan for how to achieve my 101 goals and there's going to be a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to get through all this. My reading and writing goals will particularly be a challenge. According to my spreadsheet I'm currently 0.4% of the way done, mostly because I already know two of the seven song set I'd like to have memorized for piano.

Yes he made a spreadsheet to monitor the percent complete at all times. Yes he is aware this makes him a dork. I'm betting he can't clear 75%.

But hey, updating my blog for the week - that's another little tick.

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

Or as Arnold would say: "Go! Get to da choppa!"

101 in 1001

2009-01-07T20:01:00.002-07:00

So Lady Rose and I are doing the 101 in 1001 thing. If you haven't heard of it look it up. In any case, here are some goals I am going to try to achieve in the next 1001 days. I'll update as appropriate.

1. read three Shakespeare plays that I haven’t read or seen before

2. fix the furnace humidifier and maintain the filter

3. complete edits on my novel

4. comment in writing to the manager on good retail service three times

5. floss every day for three months

6. weigh 235 pounds

7. learn and memorize a seven song piano set

8. go to bed and get up at the same time every day for a month

9. paint / stain the deck

10. pay twenty five cents from allowance for each plastic bag I accept and donate the proceeds to an environmental organization

11. go on five new hikes

12. make a new friend

13. get a shower timer

14. finish discussing my novel with Dad

15. take at most five-minute showers for one month

16. clear all twenty-seven books from by “to read” shelf before adding any more

17. have meals with five interesting people I’ve never dined with before

18. go to a hockey game

19. use transit for a non-work trip three times

20. get to work on time using transit three times

21. go to an improv night

22. write a first draft of a new novel

23. respond to all personal emails within 24 hours for three months

24. create a house-number feature for the front yard

25. go for lunch with a coworker, once a month for six months

26. paint three paintings

27. spend a day in three Alberta towns

28. discuss plays with Dad, once per reading or production he attends

29. pick up garbage in my community or public parks five times

30. find out my blood type

31. memorize five stanzas from the Tao Te Ching that speak to me

32. go to a modern dance show

33. go to the Winnipeg Fringe

34. build shoe-shelves in front entryway

35. email three out-of-town friends at least once per quarter for a year

36. leave no clothes on the floor for a month

37. read a philosophy book

38. send birthday cards to twelve extended family members that live in other cities

39. go to a community association meeting

40. join a writing group

41. talk with Dad about his poetry writing

42. fix lip at top of basement stairs

43. walk to the video store three times

44. weigh 220 pounds

45. write five ten-minute plays

46. go to a poetry slam

47. put up a drying line

48. meditate for 30 minutes twice a week for three months

49. get a good headshot taken

50. swim in a naturally occurring body of water

51. read three Folio Society books

52. update my blog weekly

53. go to a baseball game

54. update my facebook weekly

55. visit five art galleries in Calgary

56. walk to the grocery store three times

57. go to Vancouver just to visit family and friends (not wedding or seasonal)

58. install railing on front steps

59. join a federal political party

60. go to a riding association meeting

61. find three new bands that I like

62. put in a better mailbox

63. score three goals in a soccer season

64. go to the orchestra

65. play with the cats at least ten minutes a day for a month

66. direct a play

67. go to the Edmonton Fringe

68. go for dinner with my parents once per month for six months

69. write two one-act plays

70. set up home office space in basement

71. read a book by Dickens

72. join a theatre group

73. sort out comics

74. make lamps out of three unusual things

75. work out three times a week for three months

76. clean my desk at work by end of day Friday every week for 10 weeks

77. build storage shelves in garage

78. go to the opera

79. write a new full length play

80. watch the entire Xena: Warrior Princess series

81. phone my sister three times with no occasion

82. learn basic French

83. read “How to Fix Everything”

84. take three steps to make the house more energy or water efficient

85. write a new piece for piano

86. go without speaking for 48 hours

87. watch the Godfather parts I and II

88. go berry picking

89. write another new full length play

90. install a rain barrel

91. read FFWD every week for three months

92. attend a rally in support of a cause

93. coordinate gaming events at least once a month for a year

94. drink 5 cups of water or tea every day for a month

95. weigh 210 pounds

96. write a review of something once a month for six months

97. learn to take pictures in low light

98. write three short stories

99. go to Ottawa

100. write three essays

101. take three photos nice enough to frame and hang in my office at work

I'm not sure I have much more to say on this at the moment. I'm still working on an excel spreadsheet to track my percent complete.

Flourescent Bulbs are Stupid

2008-05-05T12:35:00.001-07:00

Today at lunch I read an article in MacLeans that really disturbed me. The critical fun-fact: if every household in America changed one light-bulb from regular to the new low-energy fluorescent bulb, the energy savings would be a bit less than the emissions of two medium sized coal-fired electricity generation plants. You might think that’s a lot, but consider: China is opening two new medium sized coal-fired electricity generation plants A WEEK.

The average house has, what, forty or fifty light-bulbs in it? That means that a complete overhaul of all American residences retrofitting every single bulb would cover the cost of this one source of growth in CO2 emissions on our planet for roughly one year.

At the end of that year, the lightbulb gambit would be played out. But they won’t stop building powerplants in China. So unless somebody stops them, we might as well forget changing bulbs, because it won’t make a lick of difference over the span of 20 years.

And then, for us Canadians, there’s the problem that the argument against regular bulbs doesn’t make sense for much of the year. The supposed problem with the bulbs is that they “waste” energy creating heat. How am I better off replacing a heat producing bulb with a cool bulb, and then increasing the use of my gas furnace to make up the difference? Normal bulbs are only “wasting” heat if I’m not using the heat. So as long as I don’t leave the lights on when I leave, my regular bulbs appear just as efficient for all the months where it is colder than room temperature, which is about nine of the months in Calgary. Even in summer, in my house we really only turn on the lights when the sun goes down, which is generally when our house cools to the point where it might need heating. Switching to fluorescent bulbs is therefore only nominally more efficient than my current energy consumption.

In a broader sense, the problem seems to me to be that we have been pitched the idea that we can combat global warming with energy efficient bulbs, and hanging lines for laundry, and hybrid cars when these technologies will not make any significant percentage difference when you consider that both the population and the average energy demand per person are growing on a global scale with no sign of reversing or even slowing. The efficiency myth tells us that if we operate more efficiently we can overcome the problem. Efficiency is not the problem. How we generate energy is the problem.

I believe that people are increasingly concerned about the environment. They are open to alternatives and they ask “what can I do?” The thing that made me cry in the car on the way back to work was the realization that all that good will is for nothing. We are being offered a solution to participate in but that solution is a lie.

Nothing you change about the way you live will save us from climate change. We are already in way too deep. The energy requirements for the next 10 billion people to join the population of this planet dwarf many times over everything efficiency can accomplish.

If there is a solution – IF there is a solution – then it is going to have to come from science. From finding a new way to collect and distribute energy. We should be spending hundreds of billions of dollars on this starting now and continuing every year until we find it. There is literally no cause more important that this. If we fail 80% of the world’s population is going to die and society as we understand it will end. Emission reduction targets for 2050 are a joke. They are a lie that is going to kill all of us if we don’t wake up right now.

Elizabeth May, David Suzuki, Al Gore. Please lead us somewhere useful for a change.

My Soccer Team Blows

2007-05-30T07:49:00.000-07:00

My soccer team blows this season. Last season we pulled a 50% win average to finish about mid-way in our league. This year we've played 5 games and tied once. Perhaps its because our field alignment is so intent on trying to stop the other team from scoring that we're like a catholic school-girl letting a boy have his way with her top half becuase she's too busy using both hands to cover her dewflap, or it could be because half the team is standing around on the field yelling at the other half to run after the guy they should have gotten themselves, or maybe its because nobody passes the ball, but maybe its just because we're old and we don't practice and we have no team spirit at all.

Feh.

I have a new camera

2007-04-13T23:50:00.000-07:00

Ian does not.

Letting out my inner emo

2007-01-31T20:54:00.000-07:00

Three levels of mind operate at the same time.

Primal.
Mechanical.
Spiritual.

The trick with dealing with my current crisis,
I think,
is to figure out which of these levels
is out of whack.

Or perhaps they are all out of whack?
And where is whack, anyway,
and why can't I just
be
happy.

Another victory for science

2006-12-16T09:59:00.000-07:00

Yellow

2006-12-05T19:51:00.000-07:00

Volunteered

2006-12-04T21:56:00.000-07:00

Tonight I got volunteered for another task on top of a previous task I had been volunteered for the last time CTAC met (name changed to prevent random search hits). These are not brutally difficult tasks or anything, and I don't mind doing them. I guess I just feel like they are a little thankless. Or at least that I won't be getting any thanks for them. Or maybe that I will be thanked but that it will be token. Or something. Maybe I just don't like other humans. Hmmm.

Also, my blog appears all screwed up on my home computer.

Also, I'm rapidly approaching my birthday and it's depressing me up the wazoo.

Walk Away From The Light

2006-12-01T19:48:00.000-07:00

So I had this reading the other day. A play I had written largely so I'd have something to be read at the reading. I wasn't sure how I felt about it and so I didn't really invite too many people, which was for the best because it wasn't exactly an awe inspiring night of new works. My play seemed to go on and on, and when the hostess cut it off I thought she was doing it for time, but she had just gotten her cue wrong.

The whole play stemmed from a discussion I had with a couple friends about how it was "easy" for people like David Eggers to write autobiographical work because they've had dramatic things happen to them. I asserted that most everyone had a life that could be dramatized. I believe I have been disproven quite soundly.

I've spent a lot of time this fall on play writing in one way or another. I think its time to be done with it.

Does it seem odd to anyone else that even though I have a draft of a novel done, that I could and should be editing like mad and trying to get published, still I'm obsessed with a style of writing that I'm only thinly adequate at. Why can't I be happy with what I've got instead of pushing for something else?

Just a quiet Friday ponder.

A Head of the Curve

2006-10-31T22:12:00.000-07:00

This much anticipated blog entry features a photograph! Unfortunately, it is not a picture of me in my Halloween Costume. Nor is it of me getting my halloween costume hair-cut. In fact, it isn't even a photo of me. And the observant among you will have detected that it is a Christmas photo (note the After Eight mints and garland).

Life is full of small disappointments. For example, I now have to avoid throwing up until I'm 50 to beat my previous record. Never, ever, eat the "Chicken Parmigan" sandwhich at Boston Pizza. Not only is it dissapointing - but you will risk experiencing the same projecting-from-multiple-orifice adventure that made my weekend so special. I guess I should have known better than to order a product with a mis-spelling in the name. Sigh.

If you're really, really good, I'll post a picture of my new do next time.

Yes, Meganude, I'm talking to you.

News Item

2006-10-11T21:01:00.000-07:00

I did eat turkey and loaf about over the weekend, but it's worth noting that I also finished the first draft of my novel. I know of a number of sections that need some work, but I now have a complete 300-odd page manuscript that runs continuously from start to finish like a real book.

Woot.

Le Sigh

2006-10-08T13:20:00.000-07:00

This blog entry commemorates a slightly more interesting one that should have been posted if the internet wasn't such a pissy technology.

Supposedly Bright Man Makes Bad Decision (Again)

2006-09-29T12:44:00.000-07:00

I had been doing fairly well. My stupidity hadn't cost me too much this year, compared to some previous years (like the classic never-got-around-to-registering-my-liscence-plate year). But wait, I manage to screw my own theatre company out of three or four hundred dollars by not knowing my budget and just saying yes when what I clearly should have said was "how much, again?" followed closely by "maybe some other time, thank-you". Shit. Well, of course I'm not actually going to screw the company out of the money - we don't *have* any money for one - but it means another long run of raising funds to pay off dumb-assedness rather than earning allowance for things I like.

It wouldn't be so distressing if people didn't keep telling me I'm smarter than this.

I'm a university certified dumb-ass.

Summer Ends

2006-09-04T22:33:00.000-07:00

What did I accomplish this summer?

I wrote the last page of my book (now if only I could write the remaining middle pages...)
I went on vacation.
I played soccer.

What did I want to accomplish this summer?

I wanted to rekindle some wobbly friendships - didn't find time somehow.
I wanted to get a lot of work done on my book - didn't find time somehow.
I wanted to lose a chunk of weight - did that, but then I found it again.

But hey, fall is coming - and I have all kinds of activities planned. An art class, a playwriting conference, a gym membership. (Now I just have to find time to write my book and get my social situation sorted out... hmm... do I see a trend here?)

Next year, Greece! Publication of something! New projects! Just gotta get through to Christmas.

(When is too soon to start planning new year's resolutions?)

2006-09-01T21:04:00.000-07:00

End of an Era

2006-09-01T20:08:00.000-07:00

It is official.

I have seen a movie that is worse than Barb Wire.

Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker is the worst movie ever made, period. Not one funny or scary moment in this supposed cult horror comedy flick. Well, one scary moment - when I realized that the whole movie was going to be like that. Worst actors, worst fake accents, worst production values. Seriously, this movie looks like a high school project with sat, fat fourtysomethings in it. The girl on the cover of the box wasn't even in the film (lucky her). Meanwhile, the actors in the film were so bad that there wasn't a single instance of a conversation in a shot. If one person spoke and then another person spoke, they had to cut to a different camera shot of the second person speaking so they could (presumably) shout the actors lines at them in the space between.

And I like bad movies. The only good thing about watching it was that I can now honestly say that Barb Wire isn't the worst movie I've ever seen. That's got to be a useful conversation piece at some point.

Sigh.

The artist's life

2006-08-31T13:07:00.000-07:00

“And it’s not only beauty and beautiful things. In a flicker of sunlight on a blank wall, or a reach of muddy pavement, or smoke from an engine at night, there’s a sudden significance and importance and inspiration that makes the breath stop with a gulp of certainty and happiness. It’s not that the wall or the smoke seem important for anything or suddenly reveal any general statement, or are suddenly seen to be good or beautiful in themselves – only that for you they’re perfect and unique. It’s like being in love with a person… I suppose my occupation is being in love with the universe.” - Rupert Brooke

What's your deal?

2006-08-30T09:15:00.000-07:00

Dinner with the sister

2006-08-29T21:51:00.000-07:00

Tonight we had my sister over for dinner - a rare occasion since she lives in Vancouver. We barbecued on a plank and talked about everything from how great (?) the show sex in the city was to our satisfaction with our lives and the meaning of life. It was good to have a philosophical conversation for a change, and it was good to have a friendly outsider to talk to. One of my conclusions was that I don't have such conversations with my regular friend-set because it risks too many ripples in the water - we're happier just being happy. It was also good to recognize that my sister, while staying on the proper side of the Christian/non-Christian fence from my parents point of view, is practically as radical as I am on a wide array of moral and social issues. I may have railed now and again, but maybe I like the distance that my "black sheep" status grants me. I suspect I'd rather not have regular spiritual chats with my parents and extended family - a mine field my sister more frequently walks because they assume she's on their side.

Cash Money in the Desert of the Soul

2006-08-28T19:46:00.000-07:00

Didn't have much to do at work today. But crazybirdlady had three work rumours for me to chew on. Of course, I'm never sure which to believe because about half turn out to be misunderstandings or get changed before they come about, but she was right about the company covering our premiums for benefits, it just took longer to come about than anticipated. Anyway, I wait with interest to see what happens.

At lunch I mailed the revised script for "Romeo and Hamlet" to another contest. I guess after getting a terse rejection letter from a pro company in Toronto its kind of in the realm of "getting back on the horse". When I was younger I decided at one point to train myself on rejection. I was going to mail out a bunch of writing, ask girls out, try out for stuff. Well, I ended up getting a really bit part in a play, and the first girl I was going to ask out was waffling and I got scared she'd say yes, and I was more lazy than dejected about the writing stuff I guess... anyway it never really went anywhere. I was always doing things like that - setting out on some crazy extreme thing like 'How long can I go without speaking?' except they were always impractical in some way or I chickened out or something. Never went anywhere I guess. But I still cling to my saying of those days (poached from Oliver Stone's Wild Palms) "Everything Must Go".

Vacation Photos

2006-08-27T20:02:00.000-07:00

What is the deal with vacation photos? I mean, okay, occasionally there's a really nice photo or a funny moment captured, but witness exhibit A:

What compelled me to take this photo? At the time I thought there was something great about that mountain, but look at it. It's a mountain. And mostly this is a picture of our dashboard. And while it does record that brief time where we had successfully glued the car started antenna into place before it fell off again (sheesh) but how long will the long string of ones and zeros that comprise this picture in my hard drive survive and too what end?

This one may have a bird in it.

Or perhaps that bridge held some interest.

Or that chemical plant.

Wow seascapes are great.

You know, I took photography in junior high school. I'm supposed to be competent. And the picture is displayed on the screen before you take it.

This blog sucks

2006-08-26T08:17:00.000-07:00

My blog sucks.

There are two kinds of good blogs: the kind that rarely get updated, but make up for it by being so desperately funny or moving or real, and the kind that are occassionally funny or touching, but get updated all the time so you're at least following along with the saga of their life.

I'd be happy to have the second kind of blog. I'm no Dave Eggers of blogs. But I'm apparently incapable of caring enough to post more than once in a blue moon, with my vague and uninteresting posts, which begs the question why anyone short of a spogger would bother to read it.

Last night my friends and I were discussing the role of blog as confessional. I think people *like* the fact that people they know might find their blog and read the falsely anonymous diary. They get to let those people in on what they think of as "the real me" while imposing a kind of code of silence about it because those people can't admit to having read it without a kind of "snooping" judgement being placed on them.

My blog is particularly poor because the only people that read it are really close to me - so what's the point of confessing to them?

Another point against it is the ludicrous high-concept format that doesn't really work.

Does the universe need this:

Last night my sister was in town and we went to the Chapters (all hail the temple of texts) and I bought this cheesy Shakespeare based tarot set from the bargain bin.

It's so pathetic. I mean, at least a classic deck has some reasonably old tradition behind it to give it a (false?) sense of the wisdom of the ages. This is obvious cash-candy.

So last night after Lady Rose went to sleep I did a reading for myself and found it oddly touching and personal - accurate, encouraging, and challenging in all the ways great mysteries can be. But this morning I have this worry: if I am inspired by this to make a change and it works and my life gets better, am I going to be able to live with the fact that it was caused by a Shakespeare tarot deck?

Everyone get ready to join in on the chorus: He's a lamey... whoa whoa whoa, he's a lamey. Talkin' about my little lamey... and that lamey is lame!

Apparently I'm a little conflicted. (Which the deck predicted! Bah!)

Seriously. Is the world better? Am I better? Would I be typing this if an ulcer attack brought on by poor life choices hadn't awakened me prematurely?

Feh.

Oh, I almost forgot to post an inexplicable image.

Huh. Didn't seem to work. Oh well.

Meta-blogging

2006-07-20T11:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I wrote this for my blog, but (horrors!) the internet was down at work. How the fuck am I supposed to waste time while I wait for work with no internet?!!! Anyhoo, here's what I wrote:

Over the past few days work has been a total bore – my many and varied projects continue to be tied up in various waiting games for feedback/instruction from such powers-that-be as the city, my bosses, and the dreaded clients-who-believe-I-am-a-time-traveller-and-thus-don’t-need-to-send-me-feedback-until-the-exact-moment-they-want-a-response. Hours of sitting with nothing to do, nothing “billable” anyway, and I am stripped of my connection to what I am doing here. I am a cog in an alien machine whose complexity is designed to cloak its true purpose.

Crazybirdlady is sick today – because she too has lost her purpose? – so I am alone with my thoughts and my waiting and my obsessive reading of other people’s blogs. My current favourite is “Bad News Hughes” – a disturbing freak from Florida that I would almost certainly hate if I met in person, but is a damned funny writer at that.

An email arrives – I have some work I can do, but a week of lazy has a kind of terrible momentum to it. It takes real effort to get going again, my brain feels like cornstarch in water – totally soquid.

By the way, I am totally floored by the current situation in Lebanon. Suppose some nuts in Niagra kidnapped some U.S. border guards and the Canadian government couldn’t get them back that day. Would it then be justified for the U.S. to bomb Toronto? Of course not – that would obviously be psychotic. So when Israel bombs the Beruit airport because terrorists in a different part of the country have kidnapped their soldiers what do we do? Call it reasonable and try to evacuate our citizens from the Israeli swath of destruction. 300 civilians dead because terrorists kidnapped 2 soldiers. Yeah, that’s totally justified. Of course the U.S. can’t say anything – they bombed the shit out of Afghanistan when some terrorists that lived in the backwoods of that country messed with them. But us Canadians are supposed to be better than that. Stephen Harper should pull his head out of his ass, and do something useful instead of his lame “I’m going to Cyprus to help the evacuation” publicity stunt. For shame “Steve”, for shame.

******

Anyway, that's the stuff I wrote yesterday. I still am stuck for work. Crazybigboss is still crazy. But at least I've got a bunch of planning done for my upcoming vacation.

Items of small note

2006-06-27T11:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I played soccer. Went up for a header on a high ball in our own 18 yard box and some forward from the other team nailed me while I was in mid-air creating a dramatic 360 degree airborn wipeout which earned me a free kick and a "way to play tough" from my team-mates. Would have been "tough"er if I hadn't run out of steam in the second half and mostly trotted futilely around the mid-field.

Tomorrow eve (at the Auburn - froofy-actor-bar-a-go-go) a short play I wrote will be read as part of a bunch of readings from a playwriting workshop I'm in. Professional actors - curious to see if they make more of it than I imagine my regular community types could. I'm a little dubious - how deep can you get in five minutes? - but I do like Trevor Ruger and Shari Watling (name drop!) so I am excited to see them in action on the various pieces.

Humans are so weird

2006-06-20T11:49:00.000-07:00

Don't waste too much time reading the actual post listed below, just get the gist of what they did and then check out the epic flamewar it started in the comment section.

http://toiletpaperonline.typepad.com/
the_blog/2005/11/walmart_dance_p.html

Just when I think the aliens I work with are too weird to be believed, some humans step up to remind me that we're pretty screwed up too.

Work versus "the work"

2006-05-31T22:44:00.000-07:00

I'm writing a book. It's funny - I'm almost 90,000 words into the thing and it still feels like hubris to say so. Like I should hedge my bets - "I'm trying to write a book" - in case I still somehow give up on the thing. But it feels like its got momentum now.

Anyhoo, things have gotten really busy at work. The crazy big boss is throwing tasks around like grenades while everyone else scrambles to keep their other projects on track despite the extra work. I'm going to have to work overtime just to get it done which cuts into the non-work time of my life.

And I resent that. I'm still working on my book anyway - but I'm tired a lot of the time, and irritated about the politics and conflicts of the office, and I worry that it will steal the sharpness out of my writing.

In some ways I wish I could quit and just do what I love. But I like having a home. A lot. And food is good too. And all the things that money provides. Maybe what I resent most of all is a world that makes these things incompatible.

Someday, I say. Someday.

How long can a myth keep you going?

Long enough to finish a book, anyway.

Chastized

2006-05-04T21:01:00.000-07:00

So I've been chastized (again) for not updating my blog. Okay - here goes.

Work is so weird lately - crazybirdlady went on vacation leaving behind a trail of half finished yet vaguely urgent projects and a half finished fight with the robotfromanotherplanet. So I had to scramble to keep the peace and the pieces and managed to be variously busy and bored out of my skull until she returned. The unspoken politics continue, but at least I've been busy with my own crap.

Last weekend was a wedding (the good twin) which was both less inappropriate than expected given the groom and his brothers sense of humour, and less stuffy than expected given the extended families. I, for one, couldn't give a flying crap how things are done in Scotland, but apparently this wedding had to be the last bastion of Scotsdom in western canada. I did end up acting as an usher at the last moment which was no big deal. Having been involved in a healthy number of weddings so far I know how they're supposed to work. I'm mostly just glad that the dramatics are over. Plus it was fun being drunk and trying to hail a cab downtown, on the same night that the flames won a game. (Their last, as it turned out.)

I feel vaguely ill and intend to cash that into a partial day off tomorrow.

I'm a little whiney these days (what else is new) because none of the people I emailed the latest chapter of my novel to sent me comments back. Except for my most loyal friend, and he only sent a note indicating he had read it. This is not turning out to be a very effective support system. I start feeling angry every time I open my email. But then, what the fuck am I being such a baby about? It's not like I ever email any of them on a regular basis.

I don't even blog on a regular basis.

Ah well. Maybe I'll get some more spog with this post.

Omigodomigodomigod

2006-04-13T12:24:00.000-07:00

Okay. Here it is. This is the very first time since I graduated (the first time) with a Pure Math degree that I have

a) solved an integral
b) did calculus and statistics at the same time
c) did it all for an actual work-related purpose

I'm certain the earth will open up to swallow me at any moment now.

It's been fun,

RR+S

Another Day, Another Dollar

2006-04-11T12:14:00.000-07:00

The cosmic undertow's a bitch these days

2006-04-10T12:17:00.000-07:00

So I get back from my great aunt's funeral having missed two days of work and find... nothing. The lack of work is starting to eat at my brain. Witness:

I'm not sure about you but I feel out of time. Like I'm waiting for the world to catch up with me. Perhaps my usual batch of fate-flotsam is currently rattling around Kelowna - confused that it can't find me at the White Spot.

More likely: the usual problem projects are holding back, rallying with each other for a tsunami of spreadsheet hell that crashes my desktop right before the long weekend.

(I just held the shift key so long the filter keys menu popped up. My brain is moving at... actually it may not be moving at all. Woo hoo, finally the fingers are free to say whatever the hell they feel like with no editing - we think the microsoft enabled keyboard is a pain in the ass because it has a different shaped delete key - and we just love deleting things - wish we could delete the whiney drivel above, but it might make the brain take charage aagain = ack! what? orf!!!)

My fingers are weird.

Digit

2006-04-09T15:02:00.000-07:00

Don't ask me, I just work here.

2006-04-03T21:09:00.000-07:00

Why are Kings always crazy?

2006-03-30T13:19:00.000-07:00

I had to meet with the head of my division today. Been working on a special project for him. Having spent several weeks coordinating traffic counts and several long days doing data entry, our meeting reveals that we have completely different versions of what to analyze for the data - mine based on what all existing buildings in Calgary's downtown are doing, his based on... well... I hope somebody knows what his idea is based on because it sure as hell isn't me or anyone else living on this planet.

Why do the aliens get all the top positions? Why don't they get better fitting human suits?

Long story long, I have to do a bunch of refiguring (with the help of one of the junior grade aliens) to do all the data entry again with slightly different categories. By Monday.

No that's fine CrazyBossBeing, I didn't have plans for the future.

The things we miss...

2006-03-16T12:43:00.000-07:00

Today I dropped off presentation boards for an open house at Mount Royal College.

I found myself feeling a bit alien with my dolly load of collapsable easils (easels?) among all the bright young things wandering the halls. I miss being a student. I miss the classes and homework, I miss living life in neat little four month blocks.

I think it's a little sad to miss university - it was supposed to be preparing me for something more, something beyond itself - it claimed to be foreward looking. But I suppose nobody studying abstact math, philosophy, or creative writing can really be thought of as looking ahead.

I think it's a lot sad to miss university. We're just as free now as we ever were. And if we went back to school now we'd be that sad mature student in the corner - the one nobody really wants to talk to. Hey! I guess it wouldn't be that different!

Enemies?

2006-03-15T13:04:00.000-07:00

Twitch.... twich....

2006-03-13T15:33:00.000-07:00

Do I even have to explain my thoughts?

I'm buying a snorkel.

A Tale of Two Theatre Companies

2006-03-13T11:59:00.000-07:00

Like those weird muppet mystics in "The Dark Crystal", what now exists as two opposing theatre companies began as one unified entity.

[Use of literary reference: 1 point. Use of nerdy literary reference: -2 points. Current score: -1]

I was, at the time, a grad student at the University of Calgary on his second generation of friends. This batch had formed the Mind the Walrus Theatre Group out of the co-authors and some participants in a high school production, and had accumulated other like-minded individuals along the way. It's worth noting that "like-minded" in this context meant "interested in doing theatre, but not interested/good enough to be drama majors". The king of this world was Angry Dan, and I had been his friend for years - starting out as friends with his older brother in high school and after the brother moved to Vancouver, staying on with AD and his flock of friends.

And I wanted to be involved in their theatre company. I had played a bit part in a high school production of the Tempest, was in the process of rejecting my scientific past for airy-fairy philosophy and arts, and for this group it was the "in" thing. I wanted to be "in".

[Needless focus on personal issues: -2 points. Current score: -3]

My involvement in MTW productions: I played "the Trekkie" in the horror spoof "I Know What Urban Legend You Screamed Last Halloween" where I had one line and was then slain by the serial killers - directed by the girl who would go on to become Lady Rose. And I wrote some sketches for and performed bit parts in a sketch comedy revue done one night on campus. But I was generally kept to the outside by what my then post-teenaged-but-still-socially-awkward consciousness percieved as an unspoken conspiracy by the powers-that-were in MTW, most specifically my connection to the group: Angry Dan, to keep me from being "in".

[Cast as trekkie because he *owned* a trekkie outfit: -4 points. Teen angst from a grad student: -2 points. Current score: -9 points]

So I was mostly on the outside for the fights that dominated MTW politics. Casting fights. Directing fights. Who's-fault-was-the-shitty-publicity fights. And the worst - the how-come-Angry-Dan-gets-to-make-all-the-decisions-by-throwing-a-fit-if-anyone-disagrees fights. But behind the scenes I guess I was involved because the future Lady Rose left her then boyfriend (another MTW regular) for me as the result of a cast party, and I made an unpopular transition from the world of Angry Dan's friends to Lady Rose's circle of influence.

[Making drunken cast-party antics work (three years married and counting): +4 points. Current score: -5 points]

And despite a reasonably successful production at the Edmonton Fringe, the fights were becoming intolerable. This was, after all, supposed to be for fun. There were no drama majors here. So there was a council - an intervention? - a coup? - and Lady Rose, Bubbles the Terrifying, the Reverend Kevin Stefan, and SqueekyThleen (the captain's mate, now ex) hammered out an accord with Angry Dan and his band of yes-men: the show that was being rehearsed would go on, and that would be the end of it - moneys earned donated to the Pumphouse and hands dusted of the whole sorry affair. Four months later, two new theatre companies were forming and the feud was now a rivalry.

This time, I was in. This time my personal connection to the inner sanctum would work for me. Heck I was part of the inner sanctum. Not officially on the original exec, but at the founding meetings, writing scripts for consideration, applying my years of tech experience (working at a church, but still...) Satisfying.

[A little too pleased with himself: -1 point.]

In my corner: Hidden Insanity Theatre. (Name created by Kevin's wacky theatre company name-generation spreadsheet.)

In the other corner: Scorpio Theatre. (Name stolen from Simpson's episode)

In my corner: New works by a variety of authors (Rostock Rose included), interesting published scripts, sketch comedies, improv shows on campus.

In the other corner: New works by Angry Dan, old works by Angry Dan - as if remounted they would be better, freed of the unholy influences of Lady Rose and her ilk. Yes, it really was the Angry Dan show starring Angry Dan.

Time passes...

This last weekend marked the start of a "hiatus" for Hidden Insanity. (A crappy one since we're already planning a few events for next year.) Seemed like a good time to look back and see what we've accomplished.

Financially the company is strong - we borrowed money from ourselves to start things off - paid it all back - mounted an Alberta Fringe tour and have coasted along on the proceeds ever since. We've mastered the "pretty much breaking even" school of minimizing expenses and had a few big hits (like Romeo and Hamlet last year) that pump moneys back into the well.

We've grown in terms of the quality and maturity of our shows - broadened our range to include different kinds of comedy and dramatic theatre. Developed new works, found just the right scripts to use, and learned how to cast a stable show, market a show reasonably effectively in the arts-desert that is Calgary, and manage the many technical issues involved in producing live theatre. We even have a style: sharp, darkly comedic, but approachable by and entertaining for a general audience. Not mallety in message, not juevenille in depth.

We've had our problems - a string of producers being the most noticable, and the odd unfortunate choice in casting or choice of director. There is a show-that-shall-not-be-named in our past, a light-design I did on the fly on tech day when our ill-trained light designer walked the night before load-in, and a "no list" of people we just have learned better than to work with.

Major milestones - Successful tour with sketch comedy show to Athabasca, Edmonton, and Calgary fringes got mixed reviews (many shows do not even get mixed reviews) and decent attendance. General buzz about doing good work - people want to be involved in Hidden Insanity shows. Romeo and Hamlet, co-written by Kevin Stefan and myself won Outstanding Original Script at last years Calgary Amateur Theatre awards. (Yes, the awards are kind-of a political joke, but there were a couple other legitimate contenders and it was a kick-ass show.)

[Balanced review of history: +2 points. Tooting own horn: -1 point.]

And just this last weekend Lady Rose won Best Director for "Prisoner's Dilemma" at the Calgary Regional One-Act Festival.

At the same festival, Scorpio produced Angry Dan's "Jesus versus Superman" which was, to be blunt, pretty lame. It's rare for the two companies to be in such direct competition, and the occasion highlighted the great differences between the companies.

Scorpio has never stopped producing Angry Dan's plays. And Angry Dan has never stopped writing jeuvenille scripts. Just out of highschool these were witty, pop-culture laced fun. A few years later they were campy so-bad-its-good fun. Now they're just sad. And we still hear the stories of performances for five person audiences. And we've gone to the odd show and our group has been the majority of the crowd. They did do a cross Canadian fringe tour with a slapstick retelling of the Hercules myth, but even this year they're remounting shows from the MTW days - shows that made people queasy the first time around.

[Gossip on a blog: +4 points.]

I feel guilty when I think about it. I'm not a huge fan of winning. And they've got endurance - I must give them that. So they keep right on doing what I see as suffering. But I guess they must enjoy it at that.

[Uh-oh-here-comes-the-maudlin: -2 points.]

Are we really that different? Neither company is going professional. Neither company is changing the world, or even the Calgary art scene. Both have audiences composed largely of family, friends, and friends of friends. Both are just doing it because they have fun - because its a better hobby than watching TV five nights a week. We hold ourselves up against our own standards and are satisfied. Those standards just happen to be different.

[Down-right pathetic self-effacing: -5 points.]

But from my point of view - the festival this year had three grades of theatre (as RevKev puts it): Good, Salvagable, and Dire. We hit good despite a script we knew had flaws, but J.vs.S. was dire indeed. It was no homeless-lady-in-cocktail-dress-dances-behind-mute-motionless-business-man show. (My soul, give me back my soul.) But it was a play that couldn't muster a single interesting thing to say about either Jesus or Superman. Or a climax. Or a point.

Despite the pleading of the crowd, that boxer just won't go down. And the hits just keep on coming.

[Pretensious and bitchy wrap-up: -3 points.]

[Final tally: -11. (-10 to -15. Weasel-ey. Your blog is either too mean, or not mean enough. You probably wanted to be even more insulting, but chicked out because its a public forum. Suck it up princess - a little more fire and you'll earn your self a "blitch-slap".)]

Blothering

2006-02-28T11:53:00.000-07:00

I am only really productive under a deadline, but I really hate feeling pressured.

So basically, he hates accomplishing things. That's great.

I set out to write a play for a contest in the two weeks after I got out of performing in a show before the deadline. This is proving a taxing process - not because I'm terribly busy, but simply because most of my day is spent doing other things (working, among others) and feeling bad that I'm not working on the play right then.

Add to that the sinking feeling that Lady Rose is right about this play -

(of course she is)

- and I'm in a sort of creative whirlwind with a solid core of mope. I can't wait for the busy to subside so the mope can fully surface.

Yes, folks, he really is this addicted to melancholy. No wonder he's a writer. Sheesh.

For your viewing pleasure: my self portrait.

Why do I blother?

There goes the neighborhood

2006-02-16T10:10:00.000-07:00

One day of -30C weather and then it will warm up again.

Seriously, people, I'm joining the apocalypse gang.

Also, I'm doing this at work. I am supposedly swamped at work, but have to wait for stuff on each of several projects. I suppose if the Madre actually came to work she could answer my question and I could work on her project. Her loss.

Portrait of a Transportation department:

The Big Bosses

The Ninjas

The Moms

The BlanksfromBeyond

and working beneath (beside? around? in stead of?) these engineering factions? Me and CrazyBirdLady.

I also make "art" at work. (see above)

Falling is moving

2006-01-31T23:42:00.000-07:00

I got a rejection today.

Big surprise.

At least its a sign that somebody thought, however briefly, about producing the play in question. I expected the Lost Junction to reject it - even before they lost their way they wouldn't have been likely to produce a show already produced here in town. But they read my summary.

Woo. I guess we should quit our day job then.

Anyway - I'm attempting to post a picture in this posting. Will it work?

Art. Ish.

I stayed home from work because of the knife in my belly

2006-01-30T22:48:00.000-07:00

There is no snow.

Calgary. January. No snow. Warming tempuratures again.

On some shit-mainstream website: "This is not global warming. The warm local air is just keeping the cool air trapped in northern cananda."

And where does the "warm local air" come from? And why is "warm local air" found in all across the Canadian praries (an area the size of western europe mind you)?

The earth, like some dying beggar on the streets of Mozambique, groans through parched lips as her trembling fingers reach pleadingly towards us - the window on our SUV hums closed and we roll away, tires crackling.

Humans are stupid, stupid animals.

My behind, pains in

2005-04-25T08:24:00.000-07:00

So much pain in my behind. Yesterday I went on a hike with the giants. Tall Sean leads these mountain expeditions – picked this one because it would be dry early in the season, and it was. But literally uphill for two and half hours straight. My ass will never be the same. Even bigger John quivered dangerously on the way down while Tall Sean’s parents and fiancée looked worst on the latter parts of the death march to “gain the ridge”.

People who write hiking guidebooks should be shot, "moderately".

Of course the biggest pain in my ass will soon subside. I got a new job and am thus ten working days from fleeing the Palace of Broken Dreams. Lady Rose thinks I should blow them off sooner, but despite the many times they screwed me over I feel obliged to give the proper two weeks. Still, I'm giddily doing a shoddy job - I'm even posting this blog from work!

Edgy.

Benchmark Blues

2005-04-16T23:40:00.000-07:00

I should be excited. I just finished 50,000 words on my novel. Why am I still so blue?

'Cause you suck.

Lady Rose and Falula (the evil twin) went out this afternoon, then called me to ferry them to a later engagement with at least some of the pirates. I'm expecting a call from her ladyship when she wants to get picked up. I chose to stay, to write. Its supposed to be a chance for me to get deep into the writing. But I barely got enough to meet my number, and immediately went off to watch old episodes of Enterprise I've had on tape for months.

He got his first chance to really work, and he folded like a cheap card table. Is it all a bluff we wonder? Is he really just playing for time before he admits that the "writer" thing is an ill-fitting costume that does nothing more than justify the lack of any other direction?

I hate waiting for the call. I should be doing things, at least entertaining myself, but better yet accomplishing something. Even doing the god-damn dishes.

Yeah. Cause dishes will make you feel better.

Four questions

2005-04-14T23:14:00.000-07:00

Should you write when you are depressed?

Should you be so precarious?

Should you let things go?

Should you watch life slip away?

The Sunday that bites back

2005-04-03T23:53:00.000-07:00

Stupid daylight savings time - the switchback is always a surreal sunday. When I was young it was always the sunday where you laughed at all the people who came in late for church. Now its a time where you manage to feel unrested as you botch making pancakes and fail to pass the next level on a children's video game. I finally got the day turned around when I put our barbecue to use for the first time this year.

We watched Lost in Space, the movie, after dinner, because it was on the Space Station and we were bored. But we watched it on tape to avoid the commercials.

Basically they wasted the whole flipping day.

Hey, we did some dishes.

Oooh. Intense.

Tonight when I sat down to read a bit from The Right to Write by Julia Cameron I got chastised but good - the chapter was on waiting for the "mood" to write. So I laughed at myself again for how easily I fall into traps so obvious a stranger knows I'm going to hit them and forced myself to at least edit a bit - and ended up putting down 500 words or so of new stuff too.

Oh! Lady Rose and I also planned out meals for the week and even decided to invite our parents over for a barbecue next weekend. I've got to get fillings done this week and I'm not sure which fills me with more dread.

I don't know who he thinks he's kidding. Deep down he believes that all dentists are nazis. Pencil us in for maudlin whining late Thursday night.

Getting Spicy with the Evil Twin

2005-04-03T01:43:00.000-07:00

Saturday afternoon I go pick up Falula, the evil twin, and bring her back to our place for some friendly gossip while I fiddle with a weird 'cube game called "Pikmin" - demented flower creatures assist you to rebuild your broken spacecraft? - before heading out to a restaurant on Centre we've been meaning to try.

Lady Rose lived in Thailand for six months last year so the three of us headed over to "Bangkoknoi Restaurant" to see if it lived up to the real thing. Cute little place, but the blue and yellow paint job makes me think it's just a splash of pseudo-Thai art from the italian restaurant it used to be.

Service is authentically Thai - slow with lots of apologizing. The food was pretty good - we didn't go hard core on the spice to be certain and it was plenty tasty for whitebreads like Falula and I. Thought the Chicken with Cashew Nuts was just okay, but the curry and the Som Tam (Papaya Salad - sweet and oh-so-spicy) brought back the funky (literally) streets of Bangkok.

Thailand exists for me now as a long and dreary six months away from her Ladyship broken by a three week jaunt across the world during semester break that tossed me into her surreal other life - more a tourist of her world than Thailand per se though we had a lot of adventures exploring Chaing Mai province. Bangkok is a teaming, sprawling, monster of a city with rich and poor splashed together and stir-fried into a culture that is neither ancient nor modern. Its blood runs thick in murky stank-filled canals. To eat authentic Thai is to dance with death.

After the meal, we wheeled across the city to catch up with the Captain's crew for a late showing of Sin City. Perfect film for the meal - spicy, nasty, but funny and glorious to watch. Very artful, very true to itself. Looked like a comic book made film, not a comic book movie. Honest and brutal. Beautiful.

Don't let him fool you. This is a film about tits and action. A nut grabber.

After the flick we left Falula with the pirates (she bunks with the Captain and his mate) and dashed down the hill for home. The revenge of the orient was headed our way and our nether regions have gotten way out of shape.

It kicked the crap out of us. Literally.

It begins...

2005-03-30T23:53:00.000-07:00

Everyone has to have a blog, or so the wisdom goes. The wisdom also says that peace can be had in our time, but I don't know about that. What I've got, a spin doctor can't cure.

Wait for it folks, I'm sure he's got one more...

Starting a blog at this point feels like getting on the magic bus after the acid-laced OJ has already been passed around.

There you go. I told you. Just be glad there wasn't a haiku. Now the introductions. Sigh.

I'm Rostock Rose, a writer of sorts in Calgary, Alberta. I work at a local college as an advisor for graduates, helping them in their job search, while I search desperately for something better for myself. On the side I write plays for a theatre company I co-founded (Hidden Insanity Theatre!), dabble very occasionally in journalism, and plug away on my novel in spare hours of the evening.

In short, he's too chicken to risk failing as a writer, so he dabbles.

Married with two cats. Sad about the world. Not really doing anything about it.

I'm going to stop him now. For all our sakes. Come back if you dare.